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Maxioms by George Carlin

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Let a smile be your umbrella, and you'll end up with a face full of rain.

Let a smile be your umbrella, and you'll end up with a face full of rain.

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I'm completely in favor of the separation of Church and State. My idea is that these two institutions screw us read more

I'm completely in favor of the separation of Church and State. My idea is that these two institutions screw us up enough on their own, so both of them together is certain death.

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The reason I talk to myself is because I’m the only one whose answers I accept.

The reason I talk to myself is because I’m the only one whose answers I accept.

by George Carlin Found in: Answers Quotes,
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Instead of warning pregnant women not to drink, I think female alcoholics should be told not to fuck

Instead of warning pregnant women not to drink, I think female alcoholics should be told not to fuck

by George Carlin Found in: Alcohol Quotes,
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The planet is fine. The people are fucked.

The planet is fine. The people are fucked.

by George Carlin Found in: People Quotes,
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