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Maxioms by Stephen Wright

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I put a new engine in my car, but forgot to take the old one out. Now my car goes read more

I put a new engine in my car, but forgot to take the old one out. Now my car goes 500 miles per hour. The harmonica sounds amazing.

by Stephen Wright Found in: Automobiles Quotes,
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If toast always lands butter-side down, and cats always land on their feet, what happens if you strap toast on read more

If toast always lands butter-side down, and cats always land on their feet, what happens if you strap toast on the back of a cat and drop it?

by Stephen Wright Found in: Cats Quotes,
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I invented the cordless extension cord.

I invented the cordless extension cord.

by Stephen Wright Found in: Inventions Quotes,
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When I woke up this morning my girlfriend asked me, 'Did you sleep good?' I said 'No, I made a read more

When I woke up this morning my girlfriend asked me, 'Did you sleep good?' I said 'No, I made a few mistakes.'

by Stephen Wright Found in: Sleep Quotes,
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I played a blank tape on full volume. The mime who lived next door complained. So I shot him with read more

I played a blank tape on full volume. The mime who lived next door complained. So I shot him with a gun with a silencer.

by Stephen Wright Found in: Mimes Quotes,
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