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Maxioms by George Carlin

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I think people should be allowed to do anything they want. We haven't tried that for a while. Maybe this read more

I think people should be allowed to do anything they want. We haven't tried that for a while. Maybe this time it'll work.

by George Carlin Found in: Inspirational Quotes,
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Death is caused by swallowing small amounts of saliva over a long period of time.

Death is caused by swallowing small amounts of saliva over a long period of time.

by George Carlin Found in: Death and dying Quotes,
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I went to a bookstore and asked the saleswoman, "Where's the self-help section?" She said if she told me, it read more

I went to a bookstore and asked the saleswoman, "Where's the self-help section?" She said if she told me, it would defeat the purpose

by George Carlin Found in: Libraries Quotes,
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I'm completely in favor of the separation of Church and State. My idea is that these two institutions screw us read more

I'm completely in favor of the separation of Church and State. My idea is that these two institutions screw us up enough on their own, so both of them together is certain death.

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There's no present. There's only the immediate future and the recent past.

There's no present. There's only the immediate future and the recent past.

by George Carlin Found in: Present Quotes,
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