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Maxioms by George Carlin

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I do this real moron thing, it's called thinking, and I'm not a very good Amercian because I like to read more

I do this real moron thing, it's called thinking, and I'm not a very good Amercian because I like to form my own opionions.

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May the forces of evil become confused on the way to your house.

May the forces of evil become confused on the way to your house.

by George Carlin Found in: Evil Quotes,
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The more syllables a euphemism has, the further divorced from reality it is

The more syllables a euphemism has, the further divorced from reality it is

by George Carlin Found in: Euphemisms Quotes,
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I have as much authority as the Pope, I just don't have as many people who believe it.

I have as much authority as the Pope, I just don't have as many people who believe it.

by George Carlin Found in: Authority Quotes,
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Little-known fact: When the stock exchange closes, the guy who comes out on the balcony with that big hammer slams read more

Little-known fact: When the stock exchange closes, the guy who comes out on the balcony with that big hammer slams it on the head of the person who lost the most money that day

by George Carlin Found in: Trade Quotes,
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