Maxioms by Mitch Hedberg
Sometimes I wave to people I don't know. It's very dangerous to wave to someone you don't know, because what read more
Sometimes I wave to people I don't know. It's very dangerous to wave to someone you don't know, because what if they don't have a hand? They'll think you're cocky. 'Look what I got... This thing is useful. I'm gonna go pick somethin' up.'
Alcoholism is a disease, but it's the only one you can get yelled at for having. Goddamn it Otto, you read more
Alcoholism is a disease, but it's the only one you can get yelled at for having. Goddamn it Otto, you are an alcoholic. Goddamn it Otto, you have Lupis... one of those two doesn't sound right.
I use the word totally too much. I need to change it up and use a word that is different read more
I use the word totally too much. I need to change it up and use a word that is different but has the same meaning. Mitch do you like submarine sandwhiches? All-encompassingly...
I wrote a letter to my dad, I was going to write 'I really enjoyed being here', but I accidentally read more
I wrote a letter to my dad, I was going to write 'I really enjoyed being here', but I accidentally wrote 'rarely' instead of 'really'. But I wanted to use it, I didn't want to cross it out, so I wrote 'I rarely drive steamboats, Dad. There's a lot of sh*t you don't know about me. Quit trying to act like I'm a steamboat operator.' I know this letter took a harsh turn right away.
Every book is a children's book if the kid can read!
Every book is a children's book if the kid can read!