Maxioms by Mitch Hedberg
My fake plants died because I did not pretend to water them.
My fake plants died because I did not pretend to water them.
I once saw a forklift lift a crate of forks. And it was way to literal for me.
I once saw a forklift lift a crate of forks. And it was way to literal for me.
I don't have a girlfriend. But I do know a woman who'd be mad at me for saying that.
I don't have a girlfriend. But I do know a woman who'd be mad at me for saying that.
I like vending machines, because snacks are better when they fall. If I buy a candy bar at the store, read more
I like vending machines, because snacks are better when they fall. If I buy a candy bar at the store, oftentimes I will drop it so that is achieves its maximum flavor potential.
Every book is a children's book if the kid can read!
Every book is a children's book if the kid can read!