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Maxioms by Steven Wright

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Winny and I lived in a house that ran on static electricity... If you wanted to run the blender, you read more

Winny and I lived in a house that ran on static electricity... If you wanted to run the blender, you had to rub balloons on your head. If you wanted to cook, you had to pull off a sweater real quick.

by Steven Wright Found in: Balloons Quotes,
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Curiosity killed the cat, but for a while I was a suspect.

Curiosity killed the cat, but for a while I was a suspect.

by Steven Wright Found in: Curiosity Quotes,
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Two babies were born on the same day at the same hospital. They lay there and looked at each other. read more

Two babies were born on the same day at the same hospital. They lay there and looked at each other. Their familiescame and took them away. Eighty years later, by a bizarre coincidence, they lay in the same hospital, on their deathbeds, next to each other. One of them looked at the other and said,
So. What did you think?.

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Everywhere is walking distance if you have the time.

Everywhere is walking distance if you have the time.

by Steven Wright Found in: Walking Quotes,
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I took a course in speed waiting. Now I can wait an hour in only ten minutes.

I took a course in speed waiting. Now I can wait an hour in only ten minutes.

by Steven Wright Found in: Waiting Quotes,
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