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Humour has justly been regarded as the finest perfection of poetic genius.

Humour has justly been regarded as the finest perfection of poetic genius.

by Thomas Carlyle Found in: Humor Quotes,
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Why do people in ship mutinies always ask for "better treatment"? I'd ask for a pinball machine, because with all read more

Why do people in ship mutinies always ask for "better treatment"? I'd ask for a pinball machine, because with all that rocking back and forth you'd probably be able to get a lot of free games.

by Jack Handy Found in: Deep thoughts Quotes,
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I've always been very zealous about not invading other people's private spaces.

I've always been very zealous about not invading other people's private spaces.

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He who laughs last has not yet heard the bad news.

He who laughs last has not yet heard the bad news.

by Anthony Burgess Found in: Humor Quotes,
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Never under any circumstances take a sleeping pill and a laxative on the same night

Never under any circumstances take a sleeping pill and a laxative on the same night

by Dave Barry Found in: Humor Quotes,
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The real reason for comedy is to hide the pain.

The real reason for comedy is to hide the pain.

by Wendy Wasserstein Found in: Humor Quotes,
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I think a good product would be "Baby Duck Hat". It's a fake baby duck, which you strap on top read more

I think a good product would be "Baby Duck Hat". It's a fake baby duck, which you strap on top of your head. Then you go swimming underwater until you find a mommy duck and her babies, and you join them. Then, all of a sudden, you stand up out of the water and roar like Godzilla. Man, those ducks really take off! Also, Baby Duck Hat is good for parties.

by Jack Handy Found in: Deep thoughts Quotes,
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The ability to quote is a serviceable substitute for wit.

The ability to quote is a serviceable substitute for wit.

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Laurie got offended that I used the word "puke." But to me, that's what her dinner tasted like.

Laurie got offended that I used the word "puke." But to me, that's what her dinner tasted like.

by Jack Handy Found in: Deep thoughts Quotes,
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