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This is it, folks. This is the idea which has kept me virtually unknown for the past 16 years. I read more

This is it, folks. This is the idea which has kept me virtually unknown for the past 16 years. I have watched my crowds dwindle. I am going nowhere, and nowhere quick, but, those of you who have children, I am sorry to tell you this, but they are not special. Wait! I know some of you are going "what, what?" Let me just clarify: I know YOU think they're special ... ha ha ha! I'm aware of that. I'm just here to tell you, that they're NOT! Ha ha ha ha! Sorry. Did you know that every time a guy comes he comes two-hundred million sperm? One out of TWO-HUNDRED MILLION – that load, we're only talking about one load – connected: gee, what are the fucking odds? Do you know what that means? I've wiped nations off've my chest with a grey gymsock. ENTIRE CIVILISATIONS HAVE FLAKED AND CRUSTED IN THE HAIR AROUND MY NAVEL! [...] I've tossed universes in my underpants while napping. Boom! A Milkyway shoots into my jockeyshorts: "Unngh ... what's for fucking breakfast?!"

by Bill Hicks Found in: Humour Quotes,
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As regards rap music, I believe that the "c" is silent.

As regards rap music, I believe that the "c" is silent.

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The Almighty in His infinite wisdom did not see fit to create Frenchmen in the image of Englishmen.

The Almighty in His infinite wisdom did not see fit to create Frenchmen in the image of Englishmen.

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I've developed into quite a swan. I'm one of those people that will probably look better and better as I read more

I've developed into quite a swan. I'm one of those people that will probably look better and better as I get older - until I drop dead of beauty.

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I'm a supporter of gay rights. And not a closet supporter either. From the time I was a kid, I read more

I'm a supporter of gay rights. And not a closet supporter either. From the time I was a kid, I have never been able to understand attacks upon the gay community. There are so many qualities that make up a human being... by the time I get through with all the things that I really admire about people, what they do with their private parts is probably so low on the list that it is irrelevant.

by Paul Newman Found in: Homosexuality Quotes,
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The Bible contains six admonishments to homosexuals and 362 admonishments to heterosexuals. That doesn't mean that God doesn't love heterosexuals. read more

The Bible contains six admonishments to homosexuals and 362 admonishments to heterosexuals. That doesn't mean that God doesn't love heterosexuals. It's just that they need more supervision.

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Sean: My wife used to fart when she was nervous. She had all sorts of wonderful little idiosyncrasies. She used read more

Sean: My wife used to fart when she was nervous. She had all sorts of wonderful little idiosyncrasies. She used to fart in her sleep. I thought I’d share that with you. One night it was so loud it woke the dog up. She woke up and went ‘ah was that you?’ And I didn’t have the heart to tell her. Oh!Will: She woke herself up?Sean: Ah...! But Will, she’s been dead for 2 years, and that's the shit I remember: wonderful stuff you know? Little things like that. Those are the things I miss the most. The little idiosyncrasies that only I know about: that's what made her my wife. Oh she had the goods on me too, she knew all my little peccadilloes. People call these things imperfections, but there not. Ah, that's the good stuff.~ Robin Williams as Sean Maguire, Matt Damon as Will Hunting.

by Good Will Hunting Found in: Humour Quotes,
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There's no life without humour. It can make the wonderful moments of life truly glorious, and it can make tragic read more

There's no life without humour. It can make the wonderful moments of life truly glorious, and it can make tragic moments bearable.

by Rufus Wainwright Found in: Humour Quotes,
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I may not lead the most dramatic life, but in my brain it's War and Peace everyday.

I may not lead the most dramatic life, but in my brain it's War and Peace everyday.

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