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    The only gracious way to accept an insult is to ignore it; if you can't ignore it, top it; if you can't top it, laugh at it; if you can't laugh at it, it's probably deserved.

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  17  /  18  

I hope they notice the mistletoe tied to my coattails as I leave town.

I hope they notice the mistletoe tied to my coattails as I leave town.

by Abe Lemons Found in: Insults Quotes,
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  17  /  52  

Never insult an alligator until you've crossed the river.

Never insult an alligator until you've crossed the river.

by Cordell Hull Found in: Insults Quotes,
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  15  /  15  

She has the answer to everything and the solution to nothing.

She has the answer to everything and the solution to nothing.

by Oscar Levant Found in: Insults Quotes,
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  23  /  40  

The way to procure insults is to submit to them: a man meets with no more respect than he exacts.

The way to procure insults is to submit to them: a man meets with no more respect than he exacts.

by William Hazlitt Found in: Insults Quotes,
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  12  /  16  

She looked as if she had been poured into her clothes and had forgotten to say "when."

She looked as if she had been poured into her clothes and had forgotten to say "when."

by P. G. Wodehouse Found in: Insults Quotes,
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  17  /  19  

I can't believe that out of 10,000 sperm, you were the quickest.

I can't believe that out of 10,000 sperm, you were the quickest.

by Steven Pearl Found in: Insults Quotes,
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  30  /  44  

I am not going to spend any time whatsoever in attacking the Foreign Secretary. If we complain about the tune, read more

I am not going to spend any time whatsoever in attacking the Foreign Secretary. If we complain about the tune, there is no reason to attack the monkey when the organ grinder is present.

by Aneurin Bevan Found in: Insults Quotes,
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  19  /  44  

It'd be a terrific innovation if you could get your mind to stretch a little further than the next wisecrack.

It'd be a terrific innovation if you could get your mind to stretch a little further than the next wisecrack.

by Katharine Hepburn Found in: Insults Quotes,
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  36  /  41  

If you can't ignore an insult, top it; if you can't top it, laugh it off; and if you can't read more

If you can't ignore an insult, top it; if you can't top it, laugh it off; and if you can't laugh it off, it's probably deserved.

by J. Russell Lynes Found in: Insults Quotes,
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