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If variety is the spice of life, marriage is the big can of leftover Spam.
If variety is the spice of life, marriage is the big can of leftover Spam.
Someone once asked me why women don't gamble as much as men do and I gave the commonsensical reply that read more
Someone once asked me why women don't gamble as much as men do and I gave the commonsensical reply that we don't have as much money. That was a true but incomplete answer. In fact, women's total instinct for gambling is satisfied by marriage.
Women are most fascinating between the ages of thirty-five and forty, after they have won a few races and know read more
Women are most fascinating between the ages of thirty-five and forty, after they have won a few races and know how to pace themselves. Since few women ever pass forty, maximum fascination can continue indefinitely.
Every theory of love, from Plato down teaches that each individual loves in the other sex what he lacks in read more
Every theory of love, from Plato down teaches that each individual loves in the other sex what he lacks in himself.
The majority of persons choose their wives with as little prudence as they eat. They see a troll with nothing read more
The majority of persons choose their wives with as little prudence as they eat. They see a troll with nothing else to recommend her but a pair of thighs and choice hunkers, and so smart to void their seed that they marry her at once. They imagine they can live in marvelous contentment with handsome feet and ambrosial buttocks. Most men are accredited fools shortly after they leave the womb.
A single man has not nearly the value he would have in a state of union. He is an incomplete read more
A single man has not nearly the value he would have in a state of union. He is an incomplete animal. He resembles the odd half of a pair of scissors.
Old age is like everything else. To make a success of it, you've got to start young.
Old age is like everything else. To make a success of it, you've got to start young.
Generally, employees who file complaints of discrimination do so as a last resort.
Generally, employees who file complaints of discrimination do so as a last resort.
Just as women are afraid of receiving, men are afraid of giving.
Just as women are afraid of receiving, men are afraid of giving.