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    Why is it that people rejoice at a birth and grieve at a funeral? It is because we are not the people involved.

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  15  /  27  

A two-year old is kind of like having a blender, but you don't have a top for it.

A two-year old is kind of like having a blender, but you don't have a top for it.

by Jerry Seinfeld Found in: Babies Quotes,
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  34  /  43  

Giving birth is like taking your lower lip and forcing it over your head.

Giving birth is like taking your lower lip and forcing it over your head.

by Carol Burnett Found in: Babies Quotes, Body Quotes,
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  36  /  41  

A loud noise at one end and no sense of responsibility at the other.

A loud noise at one end and no sense of responsibility at the other.

by Ronald Knox Found in: Babies Quotes,
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  45  /  34  

Those who say they "sleep like a baby" haven't got one.

Those who say they "sleep like a baby" haven't got one.

by A New Mother Found in: Babies Quotes,
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My obstetrician was so dumb that when I gave birth he forgot to cut the cord. For a year that read more

My obstetrician was so dumb that when I gave birth he forgot to cut the cord. For a year that kid followed me everywhere. It was like having a dog on a leash.

by Joan Rivers Found in: Babies Quotes,
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  40  /  44  

Birth: The first and direst of all disasters.

Birth: The first and direst of all disasters.

by Ambrose Bierce Found in: Babies Quotes,
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My friend has a baby. I'm recording all the noises he makes so later I can ask him what he read more

My friend has a baby. I'm recording all the noises he makes so later I can ask him what he meant.

by Stephen Wright Found in: Babies Quotes,
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A babe in the house is a well-spring of pleasure, a messenger of peace and love, a resting place for read more

A babe in the house is a well-spring of pleasure, a messenger of peace and love, a resting place for innocence on earth, a link between angels and men

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  39  /  44  

If you desire to drain to the dregs the fullest cup of scorn and hatred that a fellow human being read more

If you desire to drain to the dregs the fullest cup of scorn and hatred that a fellow human being can pour out for you, let a young mother hear you call dear baby "it."

by Jerome K. Jerome Found in: Babies Quotes,
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