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    I like vending machines, because snacks are better when they fall. If I buy a candy bar at the store, oftentimes I will drop it so that is achieves its maximum flavor potential.

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  16  /  31  

Sometimes I wave to people I don't know. It's very dangerous to wave to someone you don't know, because what read more

Sometimes I wave to people I don't know. It's very dangerous to wave to someone you don't know, because what if they don't have a hand? They'll think you're cocky. 'Look what I got... This thing is useful. I'm gonna go pick somethin' up.'

by Mitch Hedberg Found in: Silly Quotes,
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  17  /  28  

I am a zizzer zazzer zuzz as you can plainly see.

I am a zizzer zazzer zuzz as you can plainly see.

by Dr. Seuss Found in: Silly Quotes,
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  24  /  27  

Never take a job where winter winds can blow up your pants.

Never take a job where winter winds can blow up your pants.

by Geraldo Rivera Found in: Silly Quotes,
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  24  /  30  

I wonder if illiterate people get the full effect of alphabet soup?'

I wonder if illiterate people get the full effect of alphabet soup?'

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  19  /  26  

Love is like seaweed; even if you have pushed it away, you will not prevent it from coming back.

Love is like seaweed; even if you have pushed it away, you will not prevent it from coming back.

by Nigerian Proverb Found in: Silly Quotes,
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  15  /  31  

Have you seen my Kung fu lately? Cause it has gotten totally awsome!

Have you seen my Kung fu lately? Cause it has gotten totally awsome!

by Gerard Way Found in: Silly Quotes,
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  23  /  20  

Some people are like Slinkies - not really good for anything, but you still can't help but smile when you read more

Some people are like Slinkies - not really good for anything, but you still can't help but smile when you see one tumble down the stairs.

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  37  /  55  

There's no half-singing in the shower, you're either a rock star or an opera diva.

There's no half-singing in the shower, you're either a rock star or an opera diva.

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