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The chief function of the body is to carry the brain around.

The chief function of the body is to carry the brain around.

by Thomas A. Edison Found in: Funny Quotes,
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It is better to be beautiful than to be good, but it is better to be good than to be read more

It is better to be beautiful than to be good, but it is better to be good than to be ugly.

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Borrow money from a pessimist - they don't expect it back

Borrow money from a pessimist - they don't expect it back

by Janeane Garofalo Found in: Funny Quotes,
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Before I got married I had six theories about bringing up children; now I have six children and no theories.

Before I got married I had six theories about bringing up children; now I have six children and no theories.

by John Wilmot Found in: Funny Quotes,
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Have you ever noticed what golf spells backwards?

Have you ever noticed what golf spells backwards?

by Al Boliska Found in: Funny Quotes,
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There's one more terrifying fact about old people: I'm going to be one soon.

There's one more terrifying fact about old people: I'm going to be one soon.

by Pj O'rourke Found in: Funny Quotes,
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If you were half as funny as you think you are, you'd be twice as funny as you are now.

If you were half as funny as you think you are, you'd be twice as funny as you are now.

by Cassandra Clare Found in: Funny Quotes,
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Happiness is having a large, loving, caring, close-knit family in another city.

Happiness is having a large, loving, caring, close-knit family in another city.

by George Burns Found in: Funny Quotes,
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A friend doesn't go on a diet because you are fat.

A friend doesn't go on a diet because you are fat.

by Erma Bombeck Found in: Funny Quotes,
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