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I was a vegetarian until I started leaning toward the sunlight.

I was a vegetarian until I started leaning toward the sunlight.

by Rita Rudner Found in: Funny Quotes,
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There is no pleasure in having nothing to do; the fun is having lots to do and not doing it.

There is no pleasure in having nothing to do; the fun is having lots to do and not doing it.

by Andrew Jackson Found in: Funny Quotes,
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  26  /  23  

Life is what happens to you while you're busy making other plans

Life is what happens to you while you're busy making other plans

by John Lennon Found in: Funny Quotes, Planning Quotes,
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Experience is what you have after you've forgotten her name.

Experience is what you have after you've forgotten her name.

by Milton Berle Found in: Funny Quotes,
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There's no half-singing in the shower, you're either a rock star or an opera diva.

There's no half-singing in the shower, you're either a rock star or an opera diva.

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A hospital bed is a parked taxi with the meter running.

A hospital bed is a parked taxi with the meter running.

by Groucho Marx Found in: Funny Quotes,
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I drank some boiling water because I wanted to whistle.

I drank some boiling water because I wanted to whistle.

by Mitch Hedberg Found in: Funny Quotes,
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Actually I don't remember being born, it must have happened during one of my black outs.

Actually I don't remember being born, it must have happened during one of my black outs.

by Jim Morrison Found in: Funny Quotes,
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A friend doesn't go on a diet because you are fat.

A friend doesn't go on a diet because you are fat.

by Erma Bombeck Found in: Funny Quotes,
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