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Before you criticize someone, you should walk a mile in their shoes. That way when you criticize them, you are read more
Before you criticize someone, you should walk a mile in their shoes. That way when you criticize them, you are a mile away from them and you have their shoes.
If it weren't for electricity we'd all be watching television by candlelight.
If it weren't for electricity we'd all be watching television by candlelight.
I once saw a forklift lift a crate of forks. And it was way to literal for me.
I once saw a forklift lift a crate of forks. And it was way to literal for me.
I have a mind to join a club and beat you over the head with it.
I have a mind to join a club and beat you over the head with it.
The better I get to know men, the more I find myself loving dogs.
The better I get to know men, the more I find myself loving dogs.
Half the lies they tell about me aren't true.
Half the lies they tell about me aren't true.
Wearing a turtleneck is like being strangled by a really weak guy, all day. Wearing a backpack and a turtleneck read more
Wearing a turtleneck is like being strangled by a really weak guy, all day. Wearing a backpack and a turtleneck is like a weak midget trying to bring you down.
I just broke up with someone and the last thing she said to me was "You'll never find anyone like read more
I just broke up with someone and the last thing she said to me was "You'll never find anyone like me again!" I'm thinking, "I should hope not! If I don't want you, why would I want someone like you."
I was a vegetarian until I started leaning toward the sunlight.
I was a vegetarian until I started leaning toward the sunlight.