Maxioms Pet

X
Share to:

You May Also Like   /   View all maxioms

  ( comments )
  27  /  18  

Before you criticize someone, you should walk a mile in their shoes. That way when you criticize them, you are read more

Before you criticize someone, you should walk a mile in their shoes. That way when you criticize them, you are a mile away from them and you have their shoes.

by Jack Handey Found in: Funny Quotes,
Share to:
  ( comments )
  19  /  17  

If it weren't for electricity we'd all be watching television by candlelight.

If it weren't for electricity we'd all be watching television by candlelight.

  ( comments )
  19  /  10  

I once saw a forklift lift a crate of forks. And it was way to literal for me.

I once saw a forklift lift a crate of forks. And it was way to literal for me.

by Mitch Hedberg Found in: Funny Quotes,
Share to:
  ( comments )
  48  /  20  

I have a mind to join a club and beat you over the head with it.

I have a mind to join a club and beat you over the head with it.

by Groucho Marx Found in: Funny Quotes,
Share to:
  ( comments )
  25  /  30  

The better I get to know men, the more I find myself loving dogs.

The better I get to know men, the more I find myself loving dogs.

by Charles De Gaulle Found in: Funny Quotes,
Share to:
  ( comments )
  19  /  26  

Half the lies they tell about me aren't true.

Half the lies they tell about me aren't true.

by Yogi Berra Found in: Funny Quotes,
Share to:
  ( comments )
  15  /  16  

Wearing a turtleneck is like being strangled by a really weak guy, all day. Wearing a backpack and a turtleneck read more

Wearing a turtleneck is like being strangled by a really weak guy, all day. Wearing a backpack and a turtleneck is like a weak midget trying to bring you down.

by Mitch Hedberg Found in: Funny Quotes,
Share to:
  ( comments )
  37  /  37  

I just broke up with someone and the last thing she said to me was "You'll never find anyone like read more

I just broke up with someone and the last thing she said to me was "You'll never find anyone like me again!" I'm thinking, "I should hope not! If I don't want you, why would I want someone like you."

  ( comments )
  16  /  21  

I was a vegetarian until I started leaning toward the sunlight.

I was a vegetarian until I started leaning toward the sunlight.

by Rita Rudner Found in: Funny Quotes,
Share to:
Maxioms Web Pet