I have a mind to join a club and beat you over the head with it.

I have a mind to join a club and beat you over the head with it.

I went to a fight the other night, and a hockey game broke out.

I went to a fight the other night, and a hockey game broke out.

Before I got married I had six theories about bringing up children; now I have six children and no theories.

Before I got married I had six theories about bringing up children; now I have six children and no theories.

I am ready to meet my Maker. Whether my Maker is prepared for the ordeal of meeting me is another read more

I am ready to meet my Maker. Whether my Maker is prepared for the ordeal of meeting me is another matter.

Existentialism means that no one else can take a bath for you.

Existentialism means that no one else can take a bath for you.

If we're not supposed to eat animals, how come they're made out of meat?

If we're not supposed to eat animals, how come they're made out of meat?

I didn't like the play, but then I saw it under adverse conditions - the curtain was up.

I didn't like the play, but then I saw it under adverse conditions - the curtain was up.

I admit that: my wife is outspoken, but by whom?

I admit that: my wife is outspoken, but by whom?

This suspense is terrible. I hope it will last.

This suspense is terrible. I hope it will last.