Maxioms Pet

X

Dave Barry Quotes

Share to:

Dave Barry ( 10 of 61 )

  ( comments )
  33  /  52  

I argue very well. Ask any of my remaining friends. I can win an argument on any topic, against any read more

I argue very well. Ask any of my remaining friends. I can win an argument on any topic, against any opponent. People know this, and steer clear of me at parties. Often, as a sign of their great respect, they don't even invite me.

  ( comments )
  14  /  15  

People who want to share their religious views with you almost never want you to share yours with them.

People who want to share their religious views with you almost never want you to share yours with them.

by Dave Barry Found in: People Quotes, Religion Quotes,
Share to:
  ( comments )
  28  /  38  

The simple truth is that balding African-American men look cool when they shave their heads, whereas balding white men look read more

The simple truth is that balding African-American men look cool when they shave their heads, whereas balding white men look like giant thumbs.

by Dave Barry Found in: African american Quotes,
Share to:
  ( comments )
  19  /  35  

Politicians are like diapers. They both need changing regularly and for the same reason.

Politicians are like diapers. They both need changing regularly and for the same reason.

by Dave Barry Found in: Politicians Quotes,
Share to:
  ( comments )
  15  /  20  

Americans who travel abroad for the first time are often shocked to discover that, despite all the progress that has read more

Americans who travel abroad for the first time are often shocked to discover that, despite all the progress that has been made in the last 30 years, many foreign people still speak in foreign languages

  ( comments )
  19  /  22  

Dogs feel very strongly that they should always go with you in the car, in case the need should arise read more

Dogs feel very strongly that they should always go with you in the car, in case the need should arise for them to bark violently at nothing right in your ear.

by Dave Barry Found in: Dogs Quotes,
Share to:
  ( comments )
  15  /  16  

The problem with writing about religion is that you run the risk of offending sincerely religious people, and then they read more

The problem with writing about religion is that you run the risk of offending sincerely religious people, and then they come after you with machetes.

  ( comments )
  39  /  38  

Sharks are as tough as those football fans who take their shirts off during games in Chicago in January, only read more

Sharks are as tough as those football fans who take their shirts off during games in Chicago in January, only more intelligent.

by Dave Barry Found in: Football Quotes,
Share to:
  ( comments )
  12  /  44  

And computers are getting smarter all the time: scientists tell us that soon they will be able to talk to read more

And computers are getting smarter all the time: scientists tell us that soon they will be able to talk to us. (By they I mean computers: I doubt scientists will ever be able to talk to us.)

by Dave Barry Found in: Scientists Quotes,
Share to:
  ( comments )
  26  /  31  

The question is, why are politicians so eager to be president? What is it about the job that makes it read more

The question is, why are politicians so eager to be president? What is it about the job that makes it worth revealing, on national television, that you have the ethical standards of a slime-coated piece of industrial waste?

by Dave Barry Found in: Questioning Quotes,
Share to:
Maxioms Web Pet