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Dave Barry Quotes

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Dave Barry ( 10 of 61 )

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I argue very well. Ask any of my remaining friends. I can win an argument on any topic, against any read more

I argue very well. Ask any of my remaining friends. I can win an argument on any topic, against any opponent. People know this, and steer clear of me at parties. Often, as a sign of their great respect, they don't even invite me.

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Politicians are like diapers. They both need changing regularly and for the same reason.

Politicians are like diapers. They both need changing regularly and for the same reason.

by Dave Barry Found in: Politicians Quotes,
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People who want to share their religious views with you almost never want you to share yours with them.

People who want to share their religious views with you almost never want you to share yours with them.

by Dave Barry Found in: People Quotes, Religion Quotes,
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The simple truth is that balding African-American men look cool when they shave their heads, whereas balding white men look read more

The simple truth is that balding African-American men look cool when they shave their heads, whereas balding white men look like giant thumbs.

by Dave Barry Found in: African american Quotes,
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Sharks are as tough as those football fans who take their shirts off during games in Chicago in January, only read more

Sharks are as tough as those football fans who take their shirts off during games in Chicago in January, only more intelligent.

by Dave Barry Found in: Football Quotes,
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Americans who travel abroad for the first time are often shocked to discover that, despite all the progress that has read more

Americans who travel abroad for the first time are often shocked to discover that, despite all the progress that has been made in the last 30 years, many foreign people still speak in foreign languages

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The ultimate camping trip was the Lewis and Clark expedition.

The ultimate camping trip was the Lewis and Clark expedition.

by Dave Barry Found in: Camping Quotes,
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We journalists... are also extremely impressed with scientists, and we will, frankly, print just about any wacky thing they tell read more

We journalists... are also extremely impressed with scientists, and we will, frankly, print just about any wacky thing they tell us, especially if it involves outer space.

by Dave Barry Found in: Scientists Quotes,
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Camping is nature's way of promoting the motel business.

Camping is nature's way of promoting the motel business.

by Dave Barry Found in: Camping Quotes,
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Scientists now believe that the primary biological function of breasts is to make males stupid.

Scientists now believe that the primary biological function of breasts is to make males stupid.

by Dave Barry Found in: Scientists Quotes,
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