Dave Barry ( 10 of 61 )
What, exactly, is the internet? Basically it is a global network exchanging digitized data in such a way that any read more
What, exactly, is the internet? Basically it is a global network exchanging digitized data in such a way that any computer, anywhere, that is equipped with a device called a 'modem', can make a noise like a duck choking on a kazoo
If a woman has to choose between catching a fly ball and saving an infant's life, she will choose to read more
If a woman has to choose between catching a fly ball and saving an infant's life, she will choose to save the infant's life without even considering if there are men on base.
Eternal boyhood is the dream of a depressing percentage of American males, and the locker room is the temple where read more
Eternal boyhood is the dream of a depressing percentage of American males, and the locker room is the temple where they worship arrested development.
Sharks are as tough as those football fans who take their shirts off during games in Chicago in January, only read more
Sharks are as tough as those football fans who take their shirts off during games in Chicago in January, only more intelligent.
American consumers have no problem with carcinogens, but they will not purchase any product, including floor wax, that has fat read more
American consumers have no problem with carcinogens, but they will not purchase any product, including floor wax, that has fat in it.
Without question, the greatest invention in the history of mankind is beer. Oh, I grant you that the wheel was read more
Without question, the greatest invention in the history of mankind is beer. Oh, I grant you that the wheel was also a fine invention, but the wheel does not go nearly as well with pizza.
Once again, we come to the Holiday Season, a deeply religious time that each of us observes, in his own read more
Once again, we come to the Holiday Season, a deeply religious time that each of us observes, in his own way, by going to the mall of his choice.
A Mission Statement is a dense slab of words that a large organization produces when it needs to establish that read more
A Mission Statement is a dense slab of words that a large organization produces when it needs to establish that its workers are not just sitting around downloading Internet porn
A thunderstorm is God's way of saying you spend too much time in front of the computer
A thunderstorm is God's way of saying you spend too much time in front of the computer
It is a good idea to "shop around" before you settle on a doctor. Ask about the condition of his read more
It is a good idea to "shop around" before you settle on a doctor. Ask about the condition of his Mercedes. Ask about the competence of his mechanic. Don't be shy! After all, you're paying for it.