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George Carlin Quotes

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George Carlin ( 10 of 38 )

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Just cause you got the monkey off your back doesn't mean the circus has left town.

Just cause you got the monkey off your back doesn't mean the circus has left town.

by George Carlin Found in: Addiction Quotes,
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The very existence of flamethrowers proves that some time, somewhere, someone said to themselves, "You know, I want to set read more

The very existence of flamethrowers proves that some time, somewhere, someone said to themselves, "You know, I want to set those people over there on fire, but I'm just not close enough to get the job done."

by George Carlin Found in: People Quotes,
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The caterpillar does all the work but the butterfly gets all the publicity

The caterpillar does all the work but the butterfly gets all the publicity

by George Carlin Found in: Advertising Quotes,
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The planet is fine. The people are fucked.

The planet is fine. The people are fucked.

by George Carlin Found in: People Quotes,
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There's no present. There's only the immediate future and the recent past.

There's no present. There's only the immediate future and the recent past.

by George Carlin Found in: Present Quotes,
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I do this real moron thing, it's called thinking, and I'm not a very good Amercian because I like to read more

I do this real moron thing, it's called thinking, and I'm not a very good Amercian because I like to form my own opionions.

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Let a smile be your umbrella, and you'll end up with a face full of rain.

Let a smile be your umbrella, and you'll end up with a face full of rain.

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Well, if crime fighters fight crime and fire fighters fight fire, what do freedom fighters fight? They never mention that read more

Well, if crime fighters fight crime and fire fighters fight fire, what do freedom fighters fight? They never mention that part to us, do they?

by George Carlin Found in: Freedom Quotes,
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I'm completely in favor of the separation of Church and State. My idea is that these two institutions screw us read more

I'm completely in favor of the separation of Church and State. My idea is that these two institutions screw us up enough on their own, so both of them together is certain death.

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Think of how stupid the average person is, and realize half of them are stupider than that.

Think of how stupid the average person is, and realize half of them are stupider than that.

by George Carlin Found in: Stupidity Quotes,
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