George Carlin ( 10 of 38 )
Have you ever noticed that anybody driving slower than you is an idiot, and anyone going faster than you is read more
Have you ever noticed that anybody driving slower than you is an idiot, and anyone going faster than you is a maniac?
There are nights when the wolves are silent and only the moon howls.
There are nights when the wolves are silent and only the moon howls.
The more syllables a euphemism has, the further divorced from reality it is
The more syllables a euphemism has, the further divorced from reality it is
I would never want to be a member of a group whose symbol was a guy nailed to two pieces read more
I would never want to be a member of a group whose symbol was a guy nailed to two pieces of wood.
Have you ever noticed? Anybody going slower than you is an idiot, and anyone going faster than you is a read more
Have you ever noticed? Anybody going slower than you is an idiot, and anyone going faster than you is a maniac
When I was a kid, if a guy got killed in a western movie I always wondered who got his read more
When I was a kid, if a guy got killed in a western movie I always wondered who got his horse
Just think of how stupid the average person is, and then realize half of them are even stupider!
Just think of how stupid the average person is, and then realize half of them are even stupider!
I have as much authority as the Pope, I just don't have as many people who believe it.
I have as much authority as the Pope, I just don't have as many people who believe it.
Is fuel efficiency really what we need most desperately? I say what we really need is a car that can read more
Is fuel efficiency really what we need most desperately? I say what we really need is a car that can be shot when it breaks down.
Frisbeetarianism is the belief that when you die, your soul goes up on the roof and gets stuck.
Frisbeetarianism is the belief that when you die, your soul goes up on the roof and gets stuck.