Maxioms Pet

X

George Carlin Quotes

Share to:

George Carlin ( 10 of 38 )

  ( comments )
  22  /  30  

Have you ever noticed that anybody driving slower than you is an idiot, and anyone going faster than you is read more

Have you ever noticed that anybody driving slower than you is an idiot, and anyone going faster than you is a maniac?

by George Carlin Found in: Driving Quotes,
Share to:
  ( comments )
  18  /  22  

There are nights when the wolves are silent and only the moon howls.

There are nights when the wolves are silent and only the moon howls.

by George Carlin Found in: Moon Quotes,
Share to:
  ( comments )
  28  /  27  

The more syllables a euphemism has, the further divorced from reality it is

The more syllables a euphemism has, the further divorced from reality it is

by George Carlin Found in: Euphemisms Quotes,
Share to:
  ( comments )
  21  /  19  

I would never want to be a member of a group whose symbol was a guy nailed to two pieces read more

I would never want to be a member of a group whose symbol was a guy nailed to two pieces of wood.

  ( comments )
  27  /  40  

Have you ever noticed? Anybody going slower than you is an idiot, and anyone going faster than you is a read more

Have you ever noticed? Anybody going slower than you is an idiot, and anyone going faster than you is a maniac

by George Carlin Found in: Driving Quotes,
Share to:
  ( comments )
  12  /  21  

When I was a kid, if a guy got killed in a western movie I always wondered who got his read more

When I was a kid, if a guy got killed in a western movie I always wondered who got his horse

by George Carlin Found in: Possibility Quotes,
Share to:
  ( comments )
  7  /  12  

Just think of how stupid the average person is, and then realize half of them are even stupider!

Just think of how stupid the average person is, and then realize half of them are even stupider!

by George Carlin Found in: Stupidity Quotes,
Share to:
  ( comments )
  43  /  37  

I have as much authority as the Pope, I just don't have as many people who believe it.

I have as much authority as the Pope, I just don't have as many people who believe it.

by George Carlin Found in: Authority Quotes,
Share to:
  ( comments )
  10  /  13  

Is fuel efficiency really what we need most desperately? I say what we really need is a car that can read more

Is fuel efficiency really what we need most desperately? I say what we really need is a car that can be shot when it breaks down.

by George Carlin Found in: Sports Quotes,
Share to:
  ( comments )
  8  /  17  

Frisbeetarianism is the belief that when you die, your soul goes up on the roof and gets stuck.

Frisbeetarianism is the belief that when you die, your soul goes up on the roof and gets stuck.

by George Carlin Found in: Belief Quotes,
Share to:
Maxioms Web Pet