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Groucho Marx Quotes

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Groucho Marx ( 10 of 34 )

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I have a mind to join a club and beat you over the head with it.

I have a mind to join a club and beat you over the head with it.

by Groucho Marx Found in: Funny Quotes,
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  44  /  25  

A hospital bed is a parked taxi with the meter running.

A hospital bed is a parked taxi with the meter running.

by Groucho Marx Found in: Funny Quotes,
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  11  /  14  

Behind every successful man is a woman, behind her is his wife.

Behind every successful man is a woman, behind her is his wife.

by Groucho Marx Found in: Success Quotes,
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Military justice is to justice what military music is to music.

Military justice is to justice what military music is to music.

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Humor is reason gone mad.

Humor is reason gone mad.

by Groucho Marx Found in: Humor Quotes,
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From the moment I picked your book up until I laid it down I was convulsed with laughter. Some day read more

From the moment I picked your book up until I laid it down I was convulsed with laughter. Some day I intend reading it.

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I didn't like the play, but then I saw it under adverse conditions - the curtain was up.

I didn't like the play, but then I saw it under adverse conditions - the curtain was up.

by Groucho Marx Found in: Funny Quotes,
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  26  /  48  

No one is completely unhappy at the failure of his best friend.

No one is completely unhappy at the failure of his best friend.

by Groucho Marx Found in: Unhappiness Quotes,
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We in the industry know that behind every successful screenwriter stands a woman. And behind her stands his wife.

We in the industry know that behind every successful screenwriter stands a woman. And behind her stands his wife.

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A man's only as old as the woman he feels.

A man's only as old as the woman he feels.

by Groucho Marx Found in: Man Quotes,
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