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Jay Leno Quotes

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Bush said today he is being stalked. He said wherever he goes, people are following him. Finally, someone told him, read more

Bush said today he is being stalked. He said wherever he goes, people are following him. Finally, someone told him, 'Psst. That's the Secret Service.'

by Jay Leno Found in: Presidency Quotes,
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a Christmas tree .. the perfect gift
for a guy... the plant is already dead
(monologue Dec 10 2003).

a Christmas tree .. the perfect gift
for a guy... the plant is already dead
(monologue Dec 10 2003).

by Jay Leno Found in: Humor Quotes,
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  22  /  42  

There is a penalty for trying to knock
down a cockpit door, but it's the people
who try to go read more

There is a penalty for trying to knock
down a cockpit door, but it's the people
who try to go from coach to 1st class
they really beat up.

by Jay Leno Found in: Money Quotes,
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Vice President Dick Cheney is currently out in South Dakota on a three-day hunting trip. What better place for a read more

Vice President Dick Cheney is currently out in South Dakota on a three-day hunting trip. What better place for a man who has had four heart attacks than to be carrying a big gun and a backpack through the snow looking for red meat.

by Jay Leno Found in: Disease Quotes,
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Martha Stewart stuffed and roasted canaries and found they
could no longer sing.

Martha Stewart stuffed and roasted canaries and found they
could no longer sing.

by Jay Leno Found in: Blood Quotes,
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  18  /  32  

New Year's Eve, where auld acquaintance be forgot. Unless, of course, those tests come back positive.

New Year's Eve, where auld acquaintance be forgot. Unless, of course, those tests come back positive.

by Jay Leno Found in: New year Quotes,
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New Year's Eve, where auld acquaintance be forgot. Unless, of course, those tests come back positive.

New Year's Eve, where auld acquaintance be forgot. Unless, of course, those tests come back positive.

by Jay Leno Found in: New year Quotes,
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President Bush is taking the entire month of August off. Bush said today he thinks it is important for a read more

President Bush is taking the entire month of August off. Bush said today he thinks it is important for a president to spend time away from Washington. Or at least that's what Dick Cheney told him.

by Jay Leno Found in: Presidency Quotes,
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Bush reiterated his stand to conservatives opposing his decision on stem cell research. He said today he believes life begins read more

Bush reiterated his stand to conservatives opposing his decision on stem cell research. He said today he believes life begins at conception and ends at execution.

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