Lily Tomlin

We have reason to believe that man first walked upright to free his hands for masturbation.

We have reason to believe that man first walked upright to free his hands for masturbation.

Ninety eight percent of the adults in this country are decent, hardworking, honest Americans. It's the other lousy two percent read more

Ninety eight percent of the adults in this country are decent, hardworking, honest Americans. It's the other lousy two percent that get all the publicity. But then, we elected them.

Reality is nothing but a collective hunch.

Reality is nothing but a collective hunch.

If you read a lot of books you are considered well read. But if you watch a lot of TV, read more

If you read a lot of books you are considered well read. But if you watch a lot of TV, you're not considered well viewed.

If truth is beauty, how come no one has their hair done in a library.

If truth is beauty, how come no one has their hair done in a library.