Ogden Nash

Professional men, they have no cares; whatever happens, they get theirs.

Professional men, they have no cares; whatever happens, they get theirs.

They take the paper and they read the headlines, So they've heard of unemployment and they've heard of breadlines, And read more

They take the paper and they read the headlines, So they've heard of unemployment and they've heard of breadlines, And they philanthropically cure them all By getting up a costume charity ball.

Daybreak is one of the greatest disadvantages of living under the solar system: It means having to get up almost read more

Daybreak is one of the greatest disadvantages of living under the solar system: It means having to get up almost the very minute you go to bed, And bathe and shave and scrub industriously at your molar system And catch a train and go to the office an

The bed is a bundle of paradoxes: we go to it with reluctance, yet we quit it with regret; we read more

The bed is a bundle of paradoxes: we go to it with reluctance, yet we quit it with regret; we make up our minds every night to leave it early, but we make up our bodies every morning to keep it late.

Marriage is an alliance entered into by a man who cannot sleep with the window shut, and a woman who read more

Marriage is an alliance entered into by a man who cannot sleep with the window shut, and a woman who cannot sleep with the window open.