Ambrose Bierce

FUNERAL, n. A pageant whereby we attest our respect for the dead by enriching the undertaker, and strengthen our grief read more

FUNERAL, n. A pageant whereby we attest our respect for the dead by enriching the undertaker, and strengthen our grief by an expenditure that deepens our groans and doubles our tears.

BOUNDARY, n. In political geography, an imaginary line between two nations, separating the imaginary rights of one from the imaginary read more

BOUNDARY, n. In political geography, an imaginary line between two nations, separating the imaginary rights of one from the imaginary rights of the other.

Optimism: The doctrine, or belief, that everything is beautiful, including what is ugly, everything good, especially the bad, and everything read more

Optimism: The doctrine, or belief, that everything is beautiful, including what is ugly, everything good, especially the bad, and everything right that is wrong.

ARSENIC, n. A kind of cosmetic greatly affected by the ladies, whom it greatly affects in turn."Eat arsenic? Yes, all read more

ARSENIC, n. A kind of cosmetic greatly affected by the ladies, whom it greatly affects in turn."Eat arsenic? Yes, all you get," Consenting, he did speak up;"'Tis better you should eat it, pet, Than put it in my teacup." --Joel Huck

LONGEVITY, n. Uncommon extension of the fear of death.

LONGEVITY, n. Uncommon extension of the fear of death.