Jack Handy

To me, boxing is like a ballet, except there's no music, no choreography, and the dancers hit each other

To me, boxing is like a ballet, except there's no music, no choreography, and the dancers hit each other

If you think a weakness can be turned into a strength, I hate to tell you this, but that's another read more

If you think a weakness can be turned into a strength, I hate to tell you this, but that's another weakness

If you go parachuting, and your parachute doesn't open, and you friends are all watching you fall, I think a read more

If you go parachuting, and your parachute doesn't open, and you friends are all watching you fall, I think a funny gag would be to pretend you were swimming.

The face of a child can say it all, especially the mouth part of the face.

The face of a child can say it all, especially the mouth part of the face.

Sometimes I think I'd be better off dead. No, wait, not me, you.

Sometimes I think I'd be better off dead. No, wait, not me, you.