Jack Handy

I'd rather be rich than stupid.

I'd rather be rich than stupid.

As we were driving, we saw a sign that said "Watch for Rocks." Marta said it should read "Watch for read more

As we were driving, we saw a sign that said "Watch for Rocks." Marta said it should read "Watch for Pretty Rocks." I told her she should write in her suggestion to the highway department, but she started saying it was a joke - just to get out of writing a simple letter! And I thought I was lazy!

It takes a big man to cry, but it takes a bigger man to laugh at that man.

It takes a big man to cry, but it takes a bigger man to laugh at that man.

Why do people in ship mutinies always ask for "better treatment"? I'd ask for a pinball machine, because with all read more

Why do people in ship mutinies always ask for "better treatment"? I'd ask for a pinball machine, because with all that rocking back and forth you'd probably be able to get a lot of free games.

Too bad you can't buy a voodoo globe so that you could make the earth spin real fast and freak read more

Too bad you can't buy a voodoo globe so that you could make the earth spin real fast and freak everybody out.