Quentin Crisp

There is no need to do any housework at all. After the first four years the dirt doesn't get any read more

There is no need to do any housework at all. After the first four years the dirt doesn't get any worse.

The war between the sexes is the only one in which both sides regularly sleep with the enemy

The war between the sexes is the only one in which both sides regularly sleep with the enemy

Euphemisms are not, as many young people think, useless verbiage for that which can and should be said bluntly; they read more

Euphemisms are not, as many young people think, useless verbiage for that which can and should be said bluntly; they are like secret agents on a delicate mission, they must airily pass by a stinking mess with barely so much as a nod of the head

The very purpose of existence is to reconcile the glowing opinion we
hold of ourselves with the appalling things that read more

The very purpose of existence is to reconcile the glowing opinion we
hold of ourselves with the appalling things that other people think about
us.

The formula for achieving a successful relationship is simple: you should treat all disasters as if they were trivialities but read more

The formula for achieving a successful relationship is simple: you should treat all disasters as if they were trivialities but never treat a triviality as if it were a disaster.