Stephen Wright

My friend has a baby. I'm recording all the noises he makes so later I can ask him what he read more

My friend has a baby. I'm recording all the noises he makes so later I can ask him what he meant.

When I woke up this morning my girlfriend asked me, 'Did you sleep good?' I said 'No, I made a read more

When I woke up this morning my girlfriend asked me, 'Did you sleep good?' I said 'No, I made a few mistakes.'

I played a blank tape on full volume. The mime who lived next door complained. So I shot him with read more

I played a blank tape on full volume. The mime who lived next door complained. So I shot him with a gun with a silencer.

If toast always lands butter-side down, and cats always land on their feet, what happens if you strap toast on read more

If toast always lands butter-side down, and cats always land on their feet, what happens if you strap toast on the back of a cat and drop it?

I put a new engine in my car, but forgot to take the old one out. Now my car goes read more

I put a new engine in my car, but forgot to take the old one out. Now my car goes 500 miles per hour. The harmonica sounds amazing.