Stephen Wright

When I woke up this morning my girlfriend asked me, 'Did you sleep good?' I said 'No, I made a read more

When I woke up this morning my girlfriend asked me, 'Did you sleep good?' I said 'No, I made a few mistakes.'

I played a blank tape on full volume. The mime who lived next door complained. So I shot him with read more

I played a blank tape on full volume. The mime who lived next door complained. So I shot him with a gun with a silencer.

I put a new engine in my car, but forgot to take the old one out. Now my car goes read more

I put a new engine in my car, but forgot to take the old one out. Now my car goes 500 miles per hour. The harmonica sounds amazing.

Curiosity killed the cat, but for awhile I was a suspect.

Curiosity killed the cat, but for awhile I was a suspect.

I went to the museum where they had all the heads and arms from the statues that are in all read more

I went to the museum where they had all the heads and arms from the statues that are in all the other museums.