William S. Gilbert

If you wish in this world to advance your merits you're bound to enhance; you must stir it and stump read more

If you wish in this world to advance your merits you're bound to enhance; you must stir it and stump it, and blow your own trumpet, or, trust me, you haven't a chance.

Now landsmen all, whoever you may be,
If you want to rise to the top of the tree,
read more

Now landsmen all, whoever you may be,
If you want to rise to the top of the tree,
If your soul isn't fettered to an office stool,
Be careful to be guided by this golden rule--
Stick close to your desks and never go to sea,
And you all may be Rulers of the Queen's Navee.

For she is such a smart little craft,
Such a neat little, sweet little craft--
Such a read more

For she is such a smart little craft,
Such a neat little, sweet little craft--
Such a bright little,
Tight little,
Slight little,
Light little,
Trim little, slim little craft!

Bad language or abuse
I never, never use,
Whatever the emergency;
Though "Bother it" read more

Bad language or abuse
I never, never use,
Whatever the emergency;
Though "Bother it" I may
Occasionally say,
I never never use a big, big D.

Oh, I am a cook and a captain bold
And the mate of the Nancy brig,
And read more

Oh, I am a cook and a captain bold
And the mate of the Nancy brig,
And a bo'sun tight and a midshipmite
And the crew of the captain's gig.