William S. Gilbert

Now landsmen all, whoever you may be,
If you want to rise to the top of the tree,
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Now landsmen all, whoever you may be,
If you want to rise to the top of the tree,
If your soul isn't fettered to an office stool,
Be careful to be guided by this golden rule--
Stick close to your desks and never go to sea,
And you all may be Rulers of the Queen's Navee.

Things are seldom what they seem,
Skim milk masquerades as cream.

Things are seldom what they seem,
Skim milk masquerades as cream.

I wasn't born with enough middle fingers.

I wasn't born with enough middle fingers.

Oh, I am a cook and a captain bold
And the mate of the Nancy brig,
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Oh, I am a cook and a captain bold
And the mate of the Nancy brig,
And a bo'sun tight and a midshipmite
And the crew of the captain's gig.

I always voted at my party's call,
And I never thought of thinking of myself at all.

I always voted at my party's call,
And I never thought of thinking of myself at all.