William S. Gilbert

Things are seldom what they seem,
Skim milk masquerades as cream.

Things are seldom what they seem,
Skim milk masquerades as cream.

I always voted at my party's call,
And I never thought of thinking of myself at all.

I always voted at my party's call,
And I never thought of thinking of myself at all.

Oh, I am a cook and a captain bold
And the mate of the Nancy brig,
And read more

Oh, I am a cook and a captain bold
And the mate of the Nancy brig,
And a bo'sun tight and a midshipmite
And the crew of the captain's gig.

Bad language or abuse
I never, never use,
Whatever the emergency;
Though "Bother it" read more

Bad language or abuse
I never, never use,
Whatever the emergency;
Though "Bother it" I may
Occasionally say,
I never never use a big, big D.

For she is such a smart little craft,
Such a neat little, sweet little craft--
Such a read more

For she is such a smart little craft,
Such a neat little, sweet little craft--
Such a bright little,
Tight little,
Slight little,
Light little,
Trim little, slim little craft!