Maxioms by William S. Gilbert
 Things are seldom what they seem,
 Skim milk masquerades as cream.  
 Things are seldom what they seem,
 Skim milk masquerades as cream. 
 I always voted at my party's call,
 And I never thought of thinking of myself at all.  
 I always voted at my party's call,
 And I never thought of thinking of myself at all. 
 Oh, I am a cook and a captain bold
 And the mate of the Nancy brig,
  And read more 
 Oh, I am a cook and a captain bold
 And the mate of the Nancy brig,
  And a bo'sun tight and a midshipmite
   And the crew of the captain's gig. 
 Bad language or abuse
 I never, never use,
  Whatever the emergency;
   Though "Bother it" read more 
 Bad language or abuse
 I never, never use,
  Whatever the emergency;
   Though "Bother it" I may
    Occasionally say,
     I never never use a big, big D. 
 For she is such a smart little craft,
 Such a neat little, sweet little craft--
  Such a read more 
 For she is such a smart little craft,
 Such a neat little, sweet little craft--
  Such a bright little,
   Tight little,
    Slight little,
     Light little,
      Trim little, slim little craft!