William S. Gilbert

As innocent as a new-laid egg.

As innocent as a new-laid egg.

Something lingering with boiling oil in it . . . something
humorous but lingering--with either boiling oil or melted read more

Something lingering with boiling oil in it . . . something
humorous but lingering--with either boiling oil or melted lead.

Oh, I am a cook and a captain bold
And the mate of the Nancy brig,
And read more

Oh, I am a cook and a captain bold
And the mate of the Nancy brig,
And a bo'sun tight and a midshipmite
And the crew of the captain's gig.

My object all sublime
I shall achieve in time--
To let the punishment fit the crime.

My object all sublime
I shall achieve in time--
To let the punishment fit the crime.

I wasn't born with enough middle fingers.

I wasn't born with enough middle fingers.