Robert Benchley

A dog teaches a boy fidelity, perseverance, and to turn around three times before lying down.

A dog teaches a boy fidelity, perseverance, and to turn around three times before lying down.

The surest way to make a monkey of a man is to quote him.

The surest way to make a monkey of a man is to quote him.

Drawing on my fine command of language, I said nothing.

Drawing on my fine command of language, I said nothing.

This is a test. It is only a test. Had it been an actual job, you would have received raises, read more

This is a test. It is only a test. Had it been an actual job, you would have received raises, promotions, and other signs of appreciation.

For a nation which has an almost evil reputation for bustle, bustle, bustle, and rush, rush, rush, we spend an read more

For a nation which has an almost evil reputation for bustle, bustle, bustle, and rush, rush, rush, we spend an enormous amount of time standing around in line in front of windows, just waiting. - Benchley -- or Else!