While we are mourning the loss of our friend, others are rejoicing to meet him behind the veil.

While we are mourning the loss of our friend, others are rejoicing to meet him behind the veil.

My situation is a solemn one. Life is offered to me on condition of eating beefsteaks. But death is better read more

My situation is a solemn one. Life is offered to me on condition of eating beefsteaks. But death is better than cannibalism. My will contains directions for my funeral, which will be followed not by mourning coaches, but by oxen, sheep, flocks of poultry, and a small traveling aquarium of live fish, all wearing white scarf's in honor of the man who perished rather than eat his fellow creatures.

He was a great patriot, a humanitarian, a loyal friend - provided, of course, that he really is dead.

He was a great patriot, a humanitarian, a loyal friend - provided, of course, that he really is dead.

We say that the hour of death cannot be forecast, but when we say this we imagine that hour as read more

We say that the hour of death cannot be forecast, but when we say this we imagine that hour as placed in an obscure and distant future. It never occurs to us that it has any connection with the day already begun or that death could arrive this same afternoon, this afternoon which is so certain and which has every hour filled in advance.

We owe a deep debt of gratitude to Adam, the first great benefactor of the human race: he brought death read more

We owe a deep debt of gratitude to Adam, the first great benefactor of the human race: he brought death into the world.

Die? I should say not, dear fellow. No Barrymore would allow such a conventional thing to happen to him.

Die? I should say not, dear fellow. No Barrymore would allow such a conventional thing to happen to him.

Death most resembles a prophet who is without honor in his own land or a poet who is a stranger read more

Death most resembles a prophet who is without honor in his own land or a poet who is a stranger among his people.

I am ready to meet my maker, but whether my maker is prepared for the great ordeal of meeting me read more

I am ready to meet my maker, but whether my maker is prepared for the great ordeal of meeting me is another matter.

Life is better than death, I believe, if only because it is less boring, and because it has fresh peaches read more

Life is better than death, I believe, if only because it is less boring, and because it has fresh peaches in it.