The best prophet is common sense, our native wit.

The best prophet is common sense, our native wit.

A lot of fellows nowadays have a B.A., M.D., or Ph.D. Unfortunately, they don't have a J.O.B.

A lot of fellows nowadays have a B.A., M.D., or Ph.D. Unfortunately, they don't have a J.O.B.

If you want to be a winner, hang around with winners.

If you want to be a winner, hang around with winners.

I've learned that good-byes will always hurt, pictures will never replace having been there, memories good and bad will bring read more

I've learned that good-byes will always hurt, pictures will never replace having been there, memories good and bad will bring tears, and words can never replace feelings.

To accept a favor is to forfeit liberty.

To accept a favor is to forfeit liberty.

Some fear the dark; I embrace it. It is the only place where my eyes are blind, and my soul read more

Some fear the dark; I embrace it. It is the only place where my eyes are blind, and my soul wanders freely from the truth of reality.

Beware of men on airplanes. The minute a man reaches thirty thousand feet, he immediately becomes consumed by distasteful sexual read more

Beware of men on airplanes. The minute a man reaches thirty thousand feet, he immediately becomes consumed by distasteful sexual fantasies which involve doing uncomfortable things in those tiny toilets. These men should not be encouraged, their fantasies are sadly low-rent and unimaginative. Affect an aloof, cool demeanor as soon as any man tries to draw you out. Unless, of course, he's the pilot.

We learn from experience that men never learn anything from experience.

We learn from experience that men never learn anything from experience.

True wisdom lies in gathering the precious things out of each day as it goes by.

True wisdom lies in gathering the precious things out of each day as it goes by.