You ever noticed how people who believe in Creationism look really unevolved? You ever noticed that? Eyes real close together, read more

You ever noticed how people who believe in Creationism look really unevolved? You ever noticed that? Eyes real close together, eyebrow ridges, big furry hands and feet. "I believe God created me in one day" Yeah, looks like He rushed it.

While the rest of the species is descended from apes, redheads are descended from cats.

While the rest of the species is descended from apes, redheads are descended from cats.

There was an ape in the days that were earlier,
Centuries passed and his hair became curlier;
read more

There was an ape in the days that were earlier,
Centuries passed and his hair became curlier;
Centuries more gave a thumb to his wrist--
Then he was a Man and a Positivist.

For my own part I am persuaded that everything advances by an
unchangeable law through the eternal constitution and read more

For my own part I am persuaded that everything advances by an
unchangeable law through the eternal constitution and association
of latent causes, which have been long before predestined.
[Lat., Equidem aeterna constitutione crediderim nexuque causarum
atentium et multo ante destinatarum suum quemque ordinem
immutabili lege percurrere.]

I have called this principle, by which, each slight variation, if
useful, is preserved, by the term of Natural read more

I have called this principle, by which, each slight variation, if
useful, is preserved, by the term of Natural Selection.

The rise of every man he loved to trace,
Up to the very pod O!
And, in read more

The rise of every man he loved to trace,
Up to the very pod O!
And, in baboons, our parent race
Was found by old Monboddo.
Their A, B, C, he made them speak,
And learn their qui, quae, quod, O!
Till Hebrew, Latin, Welsh, and Greek
They knew as well's Monboddo!

The Lord let the house of a brute to the soul of a man,
And the man said, "Am read more

The Lord let the house of a brute to the soul of a man,
And the man said, "Am I your debtor?"
And the Lord--"Not yet: but make it as clean as you can,
And then I will let you a better."

When you were a tadpole, and I was a fish,
In the Palaeozoic time,
And side by read more

When you were a tadpole, and I was a fish,
In the Palaeozoic time,
And side by side in the sluggish tide
We sprawled in the ooze and slime.

Or ever the knightly years were gone
With the old world to the grave,
I was a read more

Or ever the knightly years were gone
With the old world to the grave,
I was a king in Babylon
And you were a Christian slave.