I never thought I'd land in pictures with a face like mine.

I never thought I'd land in pictures with a face like mine.

I'm a Hollywood Trainwreck.

I'm a Hollywood Trainwreck.

Strip away the phony tinsel of Hollywood and you'll find the real tinsel underneath.

Strip away the phony tinsel of Hollywood and you'll find the real tinsel underneath.

It's somehow symbolic of Hollywood that Tara was just a facade, with no rooms inside.

It's somehow symbolic of Hollywood that Tara was just a facade, with no rooms inside.

Hollywood amuses me. Holier-than-thou for the public and unholier-than-the-devil in reality

Hollywood amuses me. Holier-than-thou for the public and unholier-than-the-devil in reality

I married a German. Every night I dress up as Poland and he invades me.

I married a German. Every night I dress up as Poland and he invades me.

For an actress to be a success, she must have the face of Venus, the brains of a Minerva, the read more

For an actress to be a success, she must have the face of Venus, the brains of a Minerva, the grace of Terpsichore, the memory of a Macaulay, the figure of Juno, and the hide of a rhinoceros.

If the career you have chosen has some unexpected inconvenience, console yourself by reflecting that no career is without them.

If the career you have chosen has some unexpected inconvenience, console yourself by reflecting that no career is without them.

Stop worrying. Hollywood won’t turn your daughter into a nymphomaniac or get her hooked on drugs... I will.

Stop worrying. Hollywood won’t turn your daughter into a nymphomaniac or get her hooked on drugs... I will.