Homosexuality in Russia is a crime and the punishment is seven years in prison, locked up with the other men. read more

Homosexuality in Russia is a crime and the punishment is seven years in prison, locked up with the other men. There is a three year waiting list.

The Almighty in His infinite wisdom did not see fit to create Frenchmen in the image of Englishmen.

The Almighty in His infinite wisdom did not see fit to create Frenchmen in the image of Englishmen.

I may not lead the most dramatic life, but in my brain it's War and Peace everyday.

I may not lead the most dramatic life, but in my brain it's War and Peace everyday.

There's no life without humour. It can make the wonderful moments of life truly glorious, and it can make tragic read more

There's no life without humour. It can make the wonderful moments of life truly glorious, and it can make tragic moments bearable.

It's better to be black than gay because when you're black you don't have to tell your mother.

It's better to be black than gay because when you're black you don't have to tell your mother.

The poor girl does not know how to have a conversation. Unfortunately, she does know how to speak.

The poor girl does not know how to have a conversation. Unfortunately, she does know how to speak.

This is it, folks. This is the idea which has kept me virtually unknown for the past 16 years. I read more

This is it, folks. This is the idea which has kept me virtually unknown for the past 16 years. I have watched my crowds dwindle. I am going nowhere, and nowhere quick, but, those of you who have children, I am sorry to tell you this, but they are not special. Wait! I know some of you are going "what, what?" Let me just clarify: I know YOU think they're special ... ha ha ha! I'm aware of that. I'm just here to tell you, that they're NOT! Ha ha ha ha! Sorry. Did you know that every time a guy comes he comes two-hundred million sperm? One out of TWO-HUNDRED MILLION – that load, we're only talking about one load – connected: gee, what are the fucking odds? Do you know what that means? I've wiped nations off've my chest with a grey gymsock. ENTIRE CIVILISATIONS HAVE FLAKED AND CRUSTED IN THE HAIR AROUND MY NAVEL! [...] I've tossed universes in my underpants while napping. Boom! A Milkyway shoots into my jockeyshorts: "Unngh ... what's for fucking breakfast?!"

The Bible contains six admonishments to homosexuals and 362 admonishments to heterosexuals. That doesn't mean that God doesn't love heterosexuals. read more

The Bible contains six admonishments to homosexuals and 362 admonishments to heterosexuals. That doesn't mean that God doesn't love heterosexuals. It's just that they need more supervision.

I'm a supporter of gay rights. And not a closet supporter either. From the time I was a kid, I read more

I'm a supporter of gay rights. And not a closet supporter either. From the time I was a kid, I have never been able to understand attacks upon the gay community. There are so many qualities that make up a human being... by the time I get through with all the things that I really admire about people, what they do with their private parts is probably so low on the list that it is irrelevant.