This is it, folks. This is the idea which has kept me virtually unknown for the past 16 years. I read more

This is it, folks. This is the idea which has kept me virtually unknown for the past 16 years. I have watched my crowds dwindle. I am going nowhere, and nowhere quick, but, those of you who have children, I am sorry to tell you this, but they are not special. Wait! I know some of you are going "what, what?" Let me just clarify: I know YOU think they're special ... ha ha ha! I'm aware of that. I'm just here to tell you, that they're NOT! Ha ha ha ha! Sorry. Did you know that every time a guy comes he comes two-hundred million sperm? One out of TWO-HUNDRED MILLION – that load, we're only talking about one load – connected: gee, what are the fucking odds? Do you know what that means? I've wiped nations off've my chest with a grey gymsock. ENTIRE CIVILISATIONS HAVE FLAKED AND CRUSTED IN THE HAIR AROUND MY NAVEL! [...] I've tossed universes in my underpants while napping. Boom! A Milkyway shoots into my jockeyshorts: "Unngh ... what's for fucking breakfast?!"

Humour is the weapon of unarmed people: it helps people who are oppressed to smile at the situation that pains read more

Humour is the weapon of unarmed people: it helps people who are oppressed to smile at the situation that pains them.

Why can't they have gay people in the army? Personally, I think they are just afraid of a thousand guys read more

Why can't they have gay people in the army? Personally, I think they are just afraid of a thousand guys with M16s going, "Who'd you call a faggot?"

I've developed into quite a swan. I'm one of those people that will probably look better and better as I read more

I've developed into quite a swan. I'm one of those people that will probably look better and better as I get older - until I drop dead of beauty.

I don't think homosexuality is a choice. Society forces you to think it's a choice, but in fact, it's in read more

I don't think homosexuality is a choice. Society forces you to think it's a choice, but in fact, it's in one's nature. The choice is whether one expresses one's nature truthfully or spends the rest of one's life lying about it.

As regards rap music, I believe that the "c" is silent.

As regards rap music, I believe that the "c" is silent.

I'm a supporter of gay rights. And not a closet supporter either. From the time I was a kid, I read more

I'm a supporter of gay rights. And not a closet supporter either. From the time I was a kid, I have never been able to understand attacks upon the gay community. There are so many qualities that make up a human being... by the time I get through with all the things that I really admire about people, what they do with their private parts is probably so low on the list that it is irrelevant.

Homosexuality is god's way of insuring that the truly gifted aren't burdened with children.

Homosexuality is god's way of insuring that the truly gifted aren't burdened with children.

Homosexuality in Russia is a crime and the punishment is seven years in prison, locked up with the other men. read more

Homosexuality in Russia is a crime and the punishment is seven years in prison, locked up with the other men. There is a three year waiting list.