When they discover the center of the universe, a lot of people will be disappointed to discover they are not read more

When they discover the center of the universe, a lot of people will be disappointed to discover they are not it.

Humor is something that thrives between man's aspirations and his
limitations. There is more logic in humor than in anything read more

Humor is something that thrives between man's aspirations and his
limitations. There is more logic in humor than in anything else. Because,
you see, humor is truth.

If you believe that feeling bad or worrying long enough will change a
fact, then you are residing on another read more

If you believe that feeling bad or worrying long enough will change a
fact, then you are residing on another planet with a different reality
system.

I use nothing but the best ingredients. My cookies are always baked fresh. I price cookies so that you cannot read more

I use nothing but the best ingredients. My cookies are always baked fresh. I price cookies so that you cannot make them at home for any less. And I still give cookies away.

Nothing contributes so much to tranquilizing the mind as a steady
purpose-a point on which the soul may fix its read more

Nothing contributes so much to tranquilizing the mind as a steady
purpose-a point on which the soul may fix its intellectual eye.

Every time I try to define a perfectly stable person, I am appalled by the dullness of that person.

Every time I try to define a perfectly stable person, I am appalled by the dullness of that person.

Keep your goals away from the trolls.

Keep your goals away from the trolls.

Writing is turning one's worst moments into money.

Writing is turning one's worst moments into money.

Before you can do something you must first be something.

Before you can do something you must first be something.