The buttocks are the most aesthetically pleasing part of the body because they are non-functional. Although they conceal an essential read more

The buttocks are the most aesthetically pleasing part of the body because they are non-functional. Although they conceal an essential orifice, these pointless globes are as near as the human form can ever come to abstract art.

Rice Krispies happens to be one of my favorite junk foods, just as I regard Michener as superior among junk read more

Rice Krispies happens to be one of my favorite junk foods, just as I regard Michener as superior among junk writers.

I'm the artist formally known as Beck. I have a genius wig. When I put that wig on, then the read more

I'm the artist formally known as Beck. I have a genius wig. When I put that wig on, then the true genius emerges. I don't have enough hair to be a genius. I think you have to have hair going everywhere.

Only those who attempt the absurd will achieve the impossible. I think it's in my basement... let me go upstairs read more

Only those who attempt the absurd will achieve the impossible. I think it's in my basement... let me go upstairs and check.

Without art, the crudeness of reality would make the world unbearable.

Without art, the crudeness of reality would make the world unbearable.

Art is a fruit that grows in man, like a fruit on a plant, or a child in its mother's read more

Art is a fruit that grows in man, like a fruit on a plant, or a child in its mother's womb.

All autobiography is self-indulgent.

All autobiography is self-indulgent.

You know... that a blank wall is an apalling thing to look at. The wall of a museum - a read more

You know... that a blank wall is an apalling thing to look at. The wall of a museum - a canvas - a piece of film - or a guy sitting in front of a typewriter. Then, you start out to do something - that vague thing called creation. The beginning strikes awe within you.

What the mass media offers is not popular art, but entertainment which is intended to be consumed like food, forgotten, read more

What the mass media offers is not popular art, but entertainment which is intended to be consumed like food, forgotten, and replaced by a new dish.