Master, master, old news! And such news as you never heard of!

Master, master, old news! And such news as you never heard of!

The only white man you can trust is a dead white man.

The only white man you can trust is a dead white man.

Fake news executives are nicer than real news executives, though real news executives are funnier than fake news executives. They read more

Fake news executives are nicer than real news executives, though real news executives are funnier than fake news executives. They don’t know they’re being funny.

My heart hath one poor string to stay it by,
Which holds but till thy news be uttered,
read more

My heart hath one poor string to stay it by,
Which holds but till thy news be uttered,
And then all this thou seest is but a clod
And module of confounded royalty.

As cold waters to a thirsty soul, so is good news from a far
country.

As cold waters to a thirsty soul, so is good news from a far
country.

Ill news is wing'd with fate, and flies apace.

Ill news is wing'd with fate, and flies apace.

Ram thou fruitful tidings in mine ears,
That long time have been barren.

Ram thou fruitful tidings in mine ears,
That long time have been barren.

Though it be honest, it is never good
To bring bad news; give to a gracious message
read more

Though it be honest, it is never good
To bring bad news; give to a gracious message
An host of tongues, but let ill tidings tell
Themselves when they be felt.

It is good news, worthy of all acceptation, and yet not too good
to be true.

It is good news, worthy of all acceptation, and yet not too good
to be true.