My sister's expecting a baby, and I don't know if I'm going to be an uncle or an aunt.
(explaining read more

My sister's expecting a baby, and I don't know if I'm going to be an uncle or an aunt.
(explaining to Coach Jim Valvano why he appeared nervous at practice, 1982)

Don't park in the spaces marked, "Reserved for Umpires.".

Don't park in the spaces marked, "Reserved for Umpires.".

In order to excel, you must be completely dedicated to your chosen sport. You must also be prepared to work read more

In order to excel, you must be completely dedicated to your chosen sport. You must also be prepared to work hard and be willing to accept destructive criticism. Without 100% dedication, you won't be able to do this.

I don't like this new law, because your first instinct when you see a man on the ground is to read more

I don't like this new law, because your first instinct when you see a man on the ground is to go down on him

Academe, n.: An ancient school where morality and philosophy were taught. Academy, n.: A modern school where football is taught.

Academe, n.: An ancient school where morality and philosophy were taught. Academy, n.: A modern school where football is taught.

You get out in front -- you stay out in front.

You get out in front -- you stay out in front.

There are only two kinds of coaches -- those who have been fired, and those who will be fired.

There are only two kinds of coaches -- those who have been fired, and those who will be fired.

One player was lost because he broke his nose. How do you go about getting a nose in condition for read more

One player was lost because he broke his nose. How do you go about getting a nose in condition for football?
(when asked if the abnormal number of Longhorn injuries this season resulted from poor physical conditioning)

I lost it in the sun!
(after fumbling a grounder.)

I lost it in the sun!
(after fumbling a grounder.)