Hail Caesar, those who are about to die salute you.

Hail Caesar, those who are about to die salute you.

I'm not an athlete. I'm a professional baseball player.

I'm not an athlete. I'm a professional baseball player.

Men, I want you just thinking of one word all season. One word and one word only: Super Bowl.

Men, I want you just thinking of one word all season. One word and one word only: Super Bowl.

As I remember it, the bases were loaded.
(asked his reaction to hitting a grand slam)

As I remember it, the bases were loaded.
(asked his reaction to hitting a grand slam)

I don't like this new law, because your first instinct when you see a man on the ground is to read more

I don't like this new law, because your first instinct when you see a man on the ground is to go down on him

Some people are born on third base and go through life thinking they hit a triple.

Some people are born on third base and go through life thinking they hit a triple.

Well, either side could win it, or it could be a draw.

Well, either side could win it, or it could be a draw.

I really lack the words to compliment myself today.

I really lack the words to compliment myself today.

We were the quintessence of athletic atrocity.
(after a game his team lost to the New York Nets)

We were the quintessence of athletic atrocity.
(after a game his team lost to the New York Nets)