Fred Allen ( 10 of 21 )
The first thing that strikes a visitor to Paris is a taxi.
The first thing that strikes a visitor to Paris is a taxi.
After quitting radio I was able to live on the money I saved on aspirins.
After quitting radio I was able to live on the money I saved on aspirins.
I don't want to own anything that won't fit into my coffin.
I don't want to own anything that won't fit into my coffin.
I'd rather have a full bottle in front of me than a full frontal lobotomy.
I'd rather have a full bottle in front of me than a full frontal lobotomy.
The first time I sang in the church choir; two hundred people changed their religion.
The first time I sang in the church choir; two hundred people changed their religion.
A telescope will magnify a star a thousand times, but a good press agent can do even better.
A telescope will magnify a star a thousand times, but a good press agent can do even better.
I learned law so well, the day I graduated I sued the college, won the case, and got my tuition read more
I learned law so well, the day I graduated I sued the college, won the case, and got my tuition back.
Hanging is too good for a man who makes puns; he should be drawn and quoted.
Hanging is too good for a man who makes puns; he should be drawn and quoted.
An actor's popularity is fleeting. His success has the life expectancy of a small boy who is about to look read more
An actor's popularity is fleeting. His success has the life expectancy of a small boy who is about to look into a gas tank with a lighted match.
Advertising is 85% confusion and 15% commission.
Advertising is 85% confusion and 15% commission.
