W. C. Fields ( 10 of 22 )
Horse sense is the thing a horse has which keeps it from betting on people.
Horse sense is the thing a horse has which keeps it from betting on people.
A rich man is nothing but a poor man with money.
A rich man is nothing but a poor man with money.
Now don't say you can't swear off drinking; it's easy. I've done it a thousand times.
Now don't say you can't swear off drinking; it's easy. I've done it a thousand times.
I'm free of all prejudices. I hate everyone equally.
I'm free of all prejudices. I hate everyone equally.
Show me a great actor and I'll show you a lousy husband. Show me a great actress, and you've seen read more
Show me a great actor and I'll show you a lousy husband. Show me a great actress, and you've seen the devil.
How is the human race going to survive now that the cost of living has gone up two dollars a read more
How is the human race going to survive now that the cost of living has gone up two dollars a quart?
Once during Prohibition I was forced to live for days on nothing but food and water.
Once during Prohibition I was forced to live for days on nothing but food and water.
My illness is due to my doctor's insistence that I drink milk, a whitish fluid they force down helpless babies.
My illness is due to my doctor's insistence that I drink milk, a whitish fluid they force down helpless babies.
Anyone who hates children and dogs can't be all bad.
Anyone who hates children and dogs can't be all bad.
I never drink water because of the disgusting things that fish do in it.
I never drink water because of the disgusting things that fish do in it.
