Gracie Allen

When my mother had to get dinner for 8 she'd just make enough for 16 and only serve half.

When my mother had to get dinner for 8 she'd just make enough for 16 and only serve half.

I read a book twice as fast as anybody else. First, I read the beginning, and then I read the read more

I read a book twice as fast as anybody else. First, I read the beginning, and then I read the ending, and then I start in the middle and read toward whatever end I like best.

When I was born I was so surprised I didn't talk for a year and a half.

When I was born I was so surprised I didn't talk for a year and a half.

My husband will never chase another woman. He's too fine, too decent, too old. [said when George Burns was only read more

My husband will never chase another woman. He's too fine, too decent, too old. [said when George Burns was only 64. He lived to be 100]