One thing kids like is to be tricked. For instance, I was going to take my little nephew to Disneyland, read more

One thing kids like is to be tricked. For instance, I was going to take my little nephew to Disneyland, but instead I drove him to an old burned-out warehouse. "Oh, no," I said. "Disneyland burned down." He cried and cried, but I think that deep down, he thought it was a pretty good joke. I started to drive over to the real Disneyland, but it was getting pretty late.

Most people don't realize that large pieces of coral, which have been painted brown and attached to the skull by read more

Most people don't realize that large pieces of coral, which have been painted brown and attached to the skull by common wood screws, can make a child look like a deer.

Children need encouragement. If a kid gets an answer right, tell him it was a lucky guess. That way he read more

Children need encouragement. If a kid gets an answer right, tell him it was a lucky guess. That way he develops a good, lucky feeling.

I guess we were all guilty, in a way. We all shot him, we all skinned him, and we all read more

I guess we were all guilty, in a way. We all shot him, we all skinned him, and we all got a complimentary bumper sticker that said, "I helped skin Bob.".

What is it that makes a complete stranger dive into an icy river to save a solid gold baby? Maybe read more

What is it that makes a complete stranger dive into an icy river to save a solid gold baby? Maybe we'll never know.

If you're in a war, instead of throwing a hand grenade at the enemy, throw one of those small pumpkins. read more

If you're in a war, instead of throwing a hand grenade at the enemy, throw one of those small pumpkins. Maybe it'll make everyone think how stupid war is, and while they are thinking, you can throw a real grenade at them.

If you were a poor Indian with no weapons, and a bunch of conquistadors came up to you and asked read more

If you were a poor Indian with no weapons, and a bunch of conquistadors came up to you and asked where the gold was, I don't think it would be a good idea to say, "I swallowed it. So sue me.".

When you die, if you get a choice between going to regular heaven or pie heaven, choose pie heaven. It read more

When you die, if you get a choice between going to regular heaven or pie heaven, choose pie heaven. It might be a trick, but if it's not, mmmmmmm, boy.

I think one way the cops could make money would be to hold a murder weapons sale. Many people could read more

I think one way the cops could make money would be to hold a murder weapons sale. Many people could really use used ice picks.