If I ever opened a trampoline store, I don't think I'd call it Trampo-Land, because you might think it was read more

If I ever opened a trampoline store, I don't think I'd call it Trampo-Land, because you might think it was a store for tramps, which is not the inpression we are trying to convey with our store. On the other hand, we would not prohibit tramps from browsing, or testing the trampolines, unless a tramp's gyrations seemed to be getting out of control.

I bet the main reason the police keep people away from a plane crash is they don't want anybody walking read more

I bet the main reason the police keep people away from a plane crash is they don't want anybody walking in and lying down in the crash stuff, then, when somebody comes up, act like they just woke up and go, "What was THAT?!".

Just because swans mate for life, I don't think its that big a deal. First of all, if you're a read more

Just because swans mate for life, I don't think its that big a deal. First of all, if you're a swan, you're probably not going to find a swan that looks much better than the one you've got, so why not mate for life?

I wish I had a Kryptonite cross, because then you could keep both Dracula AND Superman away.

I wish I had a Kryptonite cross, because then you could keep both Dracula AND Superman away.

If men cease to believe that they will one day become gods then they will surely become worms.

If men cease to believe that they will one day become gods then they will surely become worms.

I can't stand cheap people. It makes me real mad when someone says something like, "Hey, when are you going read more

I can't stand cheap people. It makes me real mad when someone says something like, "Hey, when are you going to pay me that $100 you owe me?" or "Do you have that $50 you borrowed?" Man, quit being so cheap!

To me, boxing is like a ballet, except there's no music, no choreography, and the dancers hit each other.

To me, boxing is like a ballet, except there's no music, no choreography, and the dancers hit each other.

I'd rather be rich than stupid.

I'd rather be rich than stupid.

If you go parachuting, and your parachute doesn't open, and you friends are all watching you fall, I think a read more

If you go parachuting, and your parachute doesn't open, and you friends are all watching you fall, I think a funny gag would be to pretend you were swimming.