When you go in for a job interview, I think a good thing to ask is if they ever press read more

When you go in for a job interview, I think a good thing to ask is if they ever press charges.

I wouldn't be surprised if someday some fishermen caught a big shark and cut it open, and there inside was read more

I wouldn't be surprised if someday some fishermen caught a big shark and cut it open, and there inside was a whole person. Then they cut the person open, and in him is a little baby shark. And in the baby shark there isn't a person, because it would be too small. But there's a little doll or something, like a Johnny Combat little toy guy---something like that.

As we were driving, we saw a sign that said "Watch for Rocks." Marta said it should read "Watch for read more

As we were driving, we saw a sign that said "Watch for Rocks." Marta said it should read "Watch for Pretty Rocks." I told her she should write in her suggestion to the highway department, but she started saying it was a joke - just to get out of writing a simple letter! And I thought I was lazy!

I bet one legend that keeps recurring throughout history, in every culture, is the story of Popeye.

I bet one legend that keeps recurring throughout history, in every culture, is the story of Popeye.

I hope if dogs ever take over the world, and they chose a king, they don't just go by size, read more

I hope if dogs ever take over the world, and they chose a king, they don't just go by size, because I bet there are some Chihuahuas with some good ideas.

If they ever come up with a swashbuckling School, I think one of the courses should be Laughing, Then Jumping read more

If they ever come up with a swashbuckling School, I think one of the courses should be Laughing, Then Jumping Off Something.

Too bad you can't buy a voodoo globe so that you could make the earth spin real fast and freak read more

Too bad you can't buy a voodoo globe so that you could make the earth spin real fast and freak everybody out.

If you're robbing a bank and you're pants fall down, I think it's okay to laugh and to let the read more

If you're robbing a bank and you're pants fall down, I think it's okay to laugh and to let the hostages laugh too, because, come on, life is funny.

It takes a big man to cry, but it takes a bigger man to laugh at that man.

It takes a big man to cry, but it takes a bigger man to laugh at that man.