The problem with some people is that when they aren't drunk, they're sober.

The problem with some people is that when they aren't drunk, they're sober.

Cigarettes and coffee: an alcoholic's best friend!

Cigarettes and coffee: an alcoholic's best friend!

What harm in drinking can there be,
Since punch and life so well agree?

What harm in drinking can there be,
Since punch and life so well agree?

I feel sorry for people who don't drink. When they wake up in the morning, that's as good as they're read more

I feel sorry for people who don't drink. When they wake up in the morning, that's as good as they're going to feel all day.

Inspiring bold John Barleycorn,
What dangers thou canst make us scorn!
Wi' tippenny, we fear nae evil;
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Inspiring bold John Barleycorn,
What dangers thou canst make us scorn!
Wi' tippenny, we fear nae evil;
Wi' usquebae, we'll face the devil!

Did you ever hear of Captain Wattle?
He was all for love and a little for the bottle.

Did you ever hear of Captain Wattle?
He was all for love and a little for the bottle.

Now don't say you can't swear off drinking; it's easy. I've done it a thousand times.

Now don't say you can't swear off drinking; it's easy. I've done it a thousand times.

When I got up to the Peacock--where I found everybody drinking
hot punch in self-preservation.

When I got up to the Peacock--where I found everybody drinking
hot punch in self-preservation.

Inebriate of air am I,
And debauchee of dew,
Reeling, through endless summer days,
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Inebriate of air am I,
And debauchee of dew,
Reeling, through endless summer days,
From inns of molten blue.