Being a gentleman is the number one priority, the chief question integral to our national life.

Being a gentleman is the number one priority, the chief question integral to our national life.

I myself have never been able to find out precisely what feminism is; I only know that people call me read more

I myself have never been able to find out precisely what feminism is; I only know that people call me a feminist whenever I express sentiments that differentiate me from a doormat. -Rebecca West.

I would be married, but I'd have no wife, I would be married to a single life.

I would be married, but I'd have no wife, I would be married to a single life.

Ah Mozart! He was happily married - but his wife wasn't.

Ah Mozart! He was happily married - but his wife wasn't.

A small family is soon provided for.

A small family is soon provided for.

A husband is what's left of the lover after the nerve has been extracted.

A husband is what's left of the lover after the nerve has been extracted.

We have not passed that subtle line between childhood and adulthood until we move from the passive voice to the read more

We have not passed that subtle line between childhood and adulthood until we move from the passive voice to the active voice -- that is, until we have stopped saying "It got lost," and say, "I lost it.".

The man who can smile when things go wrong has thought of someone else he can blame it on.

The man who can smile when things go wrong has thought of someone else he can blame it on.

Never tell. Not if you love your wife... In fact, if your old lady walks in on you, deny it. read more

Never tell. Not if you love your wife... In fact, if your old lady walks in on you, deny it. Yeah. Just flat out and she'll believe it: "I'm tellin' ya. This chick came downstairs with a sign around her neck 'Lay on Top of Me Or I'll Die.' I didn't know what I was gonna do....".